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Unlikely British Open champ Todd Hamilton didn't get his PGA Tour card until last December, at 38, on his eighth try. Or, as Rich Beem calls it, beginners luck.

On the last hole of the playoff, Hamilton saved par by using a utility club. I have a utility club in my bag. It's called a ball retriever.

Of course, the signature hole at Troon is the par-3 No. 8 -- the Postage Stamp. This is not to be confused with the seventh green at Shinnecock -- the Hostage Stamp.

Former British Open victim Jean Van De Velde was doing commentary for the BBC. Every time it started to rain, he took off his shoes and socks.

Lance Armstrong accuses French reporter of rummaging through his hotel room

Apparently, the guy opened some drawers, cased the bathroom and then tried to get the operator to leave a wake-up call for Stage 20.

The French reporter worked for a local television show: Androstenedione Tonight.

Heat now operating under Diesel power

Miami acquired Shaquille O'Neal for three players. Shaq would not approve the deal until the Heat could promise that every two weeks he'll get his salary in cash-filled duffel bags delivered by Tony Montana's crew.

Chicago Republicans attempt to draft Mike Ditka for Senate run

The former Bears coach declined, then tried to trade the pick for Ricky Williams.

I'm very excited. I was the 1,000th writer to come up a Ditka Senate joke ending in the phrase "ELECT-ile dysfunction."

Dominik Hasek signs with Ottawa

His groin, however, is still a restricted free agent.

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