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A day of surprises On Draft Day 2000, just about anything can happen
Posted: Wednesday April 26, 2000 01:08 PM
No one on Paul Tagliabue's good green Earth has any idea what's going to happen in the NFL Draft this weekend. This may well be the most wide-open, freewheeling, trade-happy swap meet since Eddie DeBartolo and Edwin Edwards swapped briefcases at the San Francisco airport. Anything could happen. Anything. 1.) Cleveland Browns. With the first pick, the former 49ers braintrust of Carmen Policy and Dwight Clark, after mulling over the pick for months, stick with what they know and go with another 49er -- early entry Jobey Thomas of North Carolina-Charlotte. Someone informs Policy that Thomas is a basketball player, and that UNCC doesn't even have a football team. The Browns immediately start looking to the No. 1 pick in 2001. 2.) Washington Redskins. Stunned by the Browns' brainlock, the 'Skins take 14 of the 15 minutes allotted before grabbing Penn State DL Courtney Brown , figuring correctly that their defense needs all the help it can get. 3.) Redskins. A fistfight breaks out in the Washington War Room. Norv Turner wants Alabama tackle Chris Samuels. Boss Dan Snyder wants Brown's teammate, linebacker LaVar Arrington. U.S. Attorney General Janet Reno wants Elian Gonzalez. Snyder wins. It's Arrington .
4.) Cincinnati Bengals. Cowered by Corey Dillon and worried about gimpy-kneed Ki-Jana Carter, the Bengals are forced to reach for hometown hero Shaun Alexander , the running back from Alabama. Alexander, who said he'd love to play for the Bengals, tears his ACL falling out of his chair and is lost for the season. 5.) Baltimore Ravens. Incapacitated by all the offers they've had for their pick, the Ravens take Florida State wideout Peter Warrick just to get the darn pick over with. It takes three trainers to pull the phone off coach Brian Billick's ear. 6.) Philadelphia Eagles. FSU gets back-to-backers when the Eagles tab defensive tackle Corey Simon . Strangely -- or so the Eagles' brass thinks -- Simon refuses to pick up the phone to talk to his new employer. 7.) Arizona Cardinals. The Cards take running back Thomas Jones of Virginia to help their anemic running attack, then take Valley voters by talking them into some multi-million dollar stadium deal in Gilbert or somewhere. An elated Jake Plummer throws his popcorn in the air. It is intercepted. 8.) Pittsburgh Steelers. Bill Cowher storms around the Steelers' draft room for a few minutes before ordering the capture of Marshall QB Chad Pennington . Kordell Stewart steams. He and Cowher do not kiss and do not make up. 9.) Chicago Bears. Everyone thinks the Bears should take safety/LB Brian Urlacher of New Mexico, but the Bears are unsure because they weren't aware anyone played football in New Mexico. Figuring 9 million draft experts can't be wrong, they go with Urlacher anyway. 10.) Ravens. Several teams try to trade up for this pick, too, but no one can get Billick on the phone. Billick, smartly, sees that Alabama's Samuels has yet to be picked. Of course, Mel Kiper already has said Samuels is slipping because he refused to thank an Eagles' scout for opening a door for him at the Indianapolis combine. Billick risks Kiper's wrath and goes with Samuels . 11.) New York Giants. Everyone knows the Giants need a running back. They take Plaxico Burress , the Michigan State WR with the falling star. Rudy Giuliani declares martial law. 12.) New York Jets. The Jets have been trying to trade picks all day. Instead, they have to stay put and decide to go with WR Travis Taylor of Florida to make up for the departed Keyshawn Johnson. The pick is met with a stunned silence because it just makes too much sense. 13.) Jets. They blow that by taking Ron Dayne , the Wisconsin bowling ball. 14.) Green Bay Packers. GM Ron Wolf wants DE Shaun Ellis of Tennessee. He gets him. Brett Favre steps up his effort to get a full-time acting gig. Ray Rhodes smiles. 15.) Denver Broncos. With Pennington gone, Mike Shanahan goes with big Jackson State WR Sylvester Morris , then immediately tries to get Steve Young on the phone to coax him into coming to Denver. Young hears the ringing in his ears but, as always, ignores it. 16.) San Francisco 49ers. They wanted UNCC's Thomas 'cause they figured they could squeeze him under the salary cap. Foiled by Policy again. Instead, they're stuck with Tennessee RB Jamal Lewis . They offer him a $4.95 signing bonus. 17.) Oakland Raiders. Jon Gruden, who outgrowls even Cowher, somehow talks Al Davis into Syracuse LB Keith Bulluck . But Davis then immediately fires Gruden for doing it. 18.) Jets. Still reeling from a bizarre day, and with several trades falling through, the Jets go with Miami TE Bubba Franks . Bill Parcells has everything but the bottom drawer of his desk cleaned out. 19.) Seattle Seahawks. Mike Holmgren, hot that all the decent WRs are already gone, picks Stockar McDougle , a needed OT from Oklahoma. But he's not happy about it, dammit. 20.) Detroit Lions. Further teeing off the departed Barry Sanders, the Lions take an offensive lineman, huge Chris McIntosh of Wisconsin. Sanders really retires, now. 21.) Kansas City Chiefs. Still needing a running back, the Chiefs offer their entire draft to the Saints for Ricky Williams. Even without Mike Ditka, though, the Saints are still the Saints, so they say no and the Chiefs end up with LB Julian Peterson of Michigan State, who fills a need but can't run the ball. 22.) Seahawks. They pick Deltha O'Neal , a cornerback from Cal, just because Dr. Z says they should. 23.) Carolina Panthers. John Abraham , the defensive lineman from South Carolina, is their man. He's to fill in for the retired Kevin Greene, so he begins by trying to choke an assistant coach. 24.) 49ers. Pass. "Too rich for my blood," says Bill Walsh. 25.) Minnesota Vikings. Dennis Green, in his inimitable fashion, tries to pick Dimitrius Underwood again. When he's told he can't, he settles for Ohio State CB Ahmed Plummer . Hey, everyone falls into a good pick every once in awhile. 26.) Buffalo Bills. Hurt by off-season losses in the secondary, they go for DB Rashard Anderson of Jackson State and immediately assign him to cover the lateral on kickoff returns. Someone has to take the job. 27.) Jets. No one can find Parcells. Someone -- Al Groh, maybe? -- says "Go defense," so they pick DE Darren Howard of Kansas State. 28.) Indianapolis Colts. Rob Morris , the LB from BYU, bought a house in Indy last week -- that's how sure everyone is the Colts will pick him. The Colts, luckily for the Indy housing market, oblige him. 29.) Jacksonville Jaguars. Tom Coughlin, who has Cowher and Gruden beat for grumpiness, hands down, wants Georgia Tech WR Dez White , who hails from Jacksonville. He gets him. Coughlin then goes back to trying to figure out a way to beat Tennessee. 30.) Tennessee Titans. A tight end they need, a tight end they get in West Virginia's Anthony Becht , who already knows country music and the way to beat Jacksonville. Just show up. 31.) St. Louis Rams. The Super Bowl champs -- still doesn't look right, does it? -- take OT Adrian Klemm of Hawaii. By this time, of course, it's midnight in Hawaii and everyone's asleep. Note: This is not a mock draft. John Donovan is a senior writer for CNNSI.com. Comments? To e-mail Donovan, click here.
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