SI.com

 

Pity by the sea

Lucas' South Florida time-share becomes a hall of shame

Posted: Monday October 21, 2002 9:27 AM

  Peter King - Monday Morning QB
MIAMI -- Sometimes you just feel pity for a guy. That guy, today, is Ray Lucas, who on Sunday played one of the worst football games a player could in handing the Bills a 23-10 win against the Dolphins.

On Friday, I called Bill Parcells to talk about Terrell Owens, and after I told Parcells it was me, he said: "I guess you want to talk about Ray Lucas." I didn't, but we got around to it anyway. Lucas is one of Parcells' all-time favorites, an undrafted kid off the Rutgers scrap heap. Parcells was coaching the Patriots in 1996, and he got a call from an old friend, ex-Rutgers coach Doug Graber, urging him to take a look at Lucas. "This was about noon," Parcells said. "I got on the phone with Ray down in New Jersey and asked him to come to our mini-camp and we'd talk. I told him he could come the next day. It's about a five-hour drive from there to Foxboro, and at 5 o'clock that afternoon, Lucas is sitting in my office in a coat and tie."

 
Come on. Really. You think any of what follows is based on anything but throwing a dart at the standings and saying to myself: "Whatever order I put these teams in will change drastically in seven days, so why bother?" That is life in the niffle.  
1. VACANT. THERE IS NO BEST TEAM. 
2. Denver (5-2). Four of last week's top six lost. Denver, down 14 in the fourth quarter, came back to win in overtime. New Orleans, struggling all day, beat the Niners at home. That is life in the niffle. 
3. Miami (5-2). The Ray Lucas Mulligan Rule. I just invented it. When Ray Lucas plays like Cosmo Kramer, I discount much of what happened. Miami's still a very good team with a superb defense and a great back. The Fish will go far. 
4. New Orleans (6-1). Please, anyone. My kingdom for a handle on this team. I do know they can pitch it and catch it pretty well. 
5. San Diego (6-1). I believe, Marty. The kid Brees can play. This is why the 27-21 win at Oakland was so impressive: No Wiley, no Seau, tough road game. No turnovers. LaDainian Tomlinson lugged it 39 times for 153 yards, the last of which was a tremendously powerful up-the-gut overtime touchdown shredding the Raiders defense. 
6. Philadelphia (4-2). Why did everyone think Tampa would win this game? 
7. Oakland (4-2). If Chris Farley were alive, he'd say: "COME ON, CALLAHAN! WHAT THE BLEEP IS WRONG WITH YOU! AND YOU, ROMO! IT'S PATHETIC!" 
8. Green Bay (6-1). Only one question resonates from Racine to River Falls: What's the deal with Brett's knee? 
9. Tampa Bay (5-2). Confucius say rise in temperature means crappola. Eagles better. 
10. San Francisco (4-2). Check the sked. Niners' next gimme isn't till December. 
11. St. Louis (2-5). Rams still have to go 8-1 to have a decent Wild Card shot. 
12. (tie) Buffalo (4-3). Have I ever told you what an incredible player Eric Moulds is? 
12. (tie) Indianapolis (4-1). Peyton Manning. Monday Night Football. Should that happen three times a year? 
12. (tie) Pittsburgh (2-3). Hey, Myron Cope: Have about six toddies before the game tonight. I want to hear you good and lubed. 
 

And so Lucas kicked around, mostly on special teams, between the Patriots and Jets. In 1999, because of the Achilles injury to Vinny Testaverde in New York, Lucas got to start nine games. He beat the Dolphins twice. He beat Troy Aikman in Dallas. Miami bought him during free agency last year, and he's been a bench jockey ever since. Until Jay Fiedler broke his thumb last week. Then the Dolphins became Lucas' team, and the home folks seem pleased. "You won't see a backup quarterback as respected as Ray and as big a leader as Ray on any team," said offensive coordinator Norv Turner. "The guys believe in him."

I watched part of Sunday's game with Cris Carter, who will be a Dolphin any minute now. "Great arm," Carter said of Lucas early on. "He's got a better arm than Jay. Jay manages the game better, but Ray's got the arm and the mobility to be a good player."

It was pretty much downhill from there. Two fumbles, both lost. Four interceptions. Thirteen-of-33 passing. The first pick, by Nate Clements, was into rock-solid double-coverage. The second looked like Lucas had brainlock and threw right to Clements with no one else around. The third he threw eight feet over his receiver's head, right into Clements' arm. The fourth, to linebacker Eddie Robinson, was a tipped ball off Robert Edwards' hands.

Afterward, Lucas met the press and looked downright despondent. I could have been in newsier places Sunday -- in Green Bay, where Brett Favre suffered the first real knee injury of his career, or in New Orleans, on the Terrell Owens watch. But there was no more compelling story than the poor kid trying to get out of Pro Player Stadium with one lousy shred of dignity intact.

Lucas had a few great and emotional lines.

  • "I don't think there's ever been a case where one guy lost a game for his teammates except for today."

  • "I don't think I've ever thrown four picks since I was born."

  • "I probably won't sleep for the next three days."

  • "Will this loss make the bye week seem longer?" he was asked.

    "Are you serious?" he responded.

  • "Can you get your confidence level back?"

    "I just need to get back around the guys," he said. "Today, I tried to steer the ball. The way I played was probably the worst in NFL history."

    He beat himself up for a while longer, then disappeared. By the way, the next start has a little bit of pressure accompanying it. In Green Bay. Monday night game. There's a bye week, but my theory is that won't help Lucas at all. It'll just give him 15 days, instead of seven, to think about how horrible he played in this game.



    OFFENSIVE PLAYER OF THE WEEK

    St. Louis RB Marshall Faulk. My new best friend, Bob Costas, must stand up and take a bow. In the two weeks since Faulk got up and walked out after a perfectly reasonable question from Costas, he has resumed his all-worldness. In the Rams' 35-17 crushing of Seattle, Faulk piled up 235 yards and four touchdowns. Check out these numbers: During the Rams' 0-5 start, Faulk had 20.8 touches per fame. In their 2-0 rejuvenation during the past two weeks, he has averaged 34.5 touches. Think that might have something to do with the Rams' new world?

    DEFENSIVE PLAYER OF THE WEEK

    Buffalo cornerback Nate Clements. The Bills had four takeaways in their first six games of the year. Clements had three interceptions in the 23-10 Buffalo win Sunday -- one he returned 29 yards for the clinching touchdown -- as well as four solo tackles and four passes broken up. The picks were also the first three interceptions of the Bills' season. What a tour de force of a game, even though, if I give Clements a trophy for this, he's going to have to saw it in half and give half to Ray Lucas. Clements said after the game that Lucas "threw it right" to him on the pick returned for touchdown. There wasn't much sugarcoating the Lucas factor after the game.

    SPECIAL TEAMS PLAYER OF THE WEEK

    Miami S Brock Marion. You do not make better plays than the one Marion made on a Buffalo fake punt. First of all, the call was a total stunner, coming in the first quarter against a Buffalo special-teams unit that had been more fraud than fantastic this year. But when Buffalo snapped the ball to upback Sammy Morris instead of punter Brian Moorman, then Morris and Moorman began a right-end sweep, then Morris pitched to Moorman, then Marion didn't bite for any fakery, and then Marion drove the suddenly frustrated running back Moorman into the turf -- hard -- Marion had made the big special teams play in the NFL this weekend.

    COACH OF THE WEEK

    Denver coach Mike Shanahan. This is what Shanahan had to go through over the last eight days: heartbreaking loss to Miami on a 55-yard field goal, loss of safety Kenoy Kennedy to a league suspension because of an illegal hit, staunch support of Kennedy, a trip to Kansas City, 14-point fourth-quarter deficit in K.C., 17-point late rally to win 37-34.

    GOAT OF THE WEEK

    Miami QB Ray Lucas. Don't mean to pile on, Ray. You're a swell guy. But that was such a bad day I can't avoid it. Remember Dave Brown when you played in New York, Ray? And how when he started triple-clutching you just wanted to shield your eyes and avoid the disaster that was about to happen? Well, I'm sorry again, but that was you Sunday.

    QUOTE OF THE WEEK

    "Moss May See Double Coverage."
    -- Headline in Thursday's (Newark) Star-Ledger, above a story discussing the New York Jets' defensive plans for Minnesota wide receiver Randy Moss in Sunday's game. Reportedly, the Star-Ledger is plotting these exclusive headlines this week: "Sun To Come Up Tomorrow," "Steinbrenner Does Not Like to Lose," and "NFL On Way To Higher Attendance Than Indoor Lacrosse."

    Quote of the Week II:

    "Wearing shoes that are too tight is not a good idea. Details ahead."
    -- News item on WBZ radio in Boston Saturday morning, teasing a story about how wearing shoes that are too tight is not a good idea.


    Jessica Biel, who plays Mary on the tweener hit 7th Heaven on the WB network, was a spectator, as was I, at Williams College's 2-1 field hockey win at Tufts Saturday.

    It was Parents Weekend at Tufts. Laura King, also a spectator at the game, informs me that roommate Lauren shares a class with Tufts' most famous current student.


    On two trips into Manhattan last week (first to tape Pardon the Interruption on ESPN and later to work the HBO Inside the NFL show), I saw the following four things:

    1. Twenty roller skaters dressed in form-fitting hooded purple velvet jumpsuits, stopping pedestrians trying to cross 42nd Street at Broadway while they paraded by at high speed. All wore sheer butterfly wings on their backs. They were "a rolling advertisement," one said, for Internet outfit MSN.

    2. An earnest, well-dressed, 30-something man walking through a subway car selling incense, repeating over and over that "The scent will set you free. Three dollars."

    3. A intense, sweating blind man dancing suggestively (and quite fluidly) with a mannequin to a pulsing Latin beat from a boom box in a subway tunnel, soliciting donations in a small cardboard box in front of him.

    4. A disturbed-looking, unkempt, 20-something man, scowling, with a dirty gray T-shirt reading: "I HAVE ISSUES."


    1. My very imprecise players' poll on the Terrell Owens ball-signing story says the majority of players support Owens. I am not surprised. I also do not agree. Glad he was inactive in the end zone at New Orleans.

    2. I think the funniest post-Terrell Owens ball-signing comment came from Seattle defensive tackle John Randle, who said Owens' actions were "an embarrassment for the league." Randle once sacked a quarterback, crawled on the ground on all fours, then lifted his rear leg and pretended to urinate on the field.

    3. I think these are my quick-hit football thoughts of the weekend:

    a. Bill Parcells told me the other day he thinks the fine and suspension to Denver safety Kenoy Kennedy is a bunch of garbage. Says there's no way Kennedy was launching himself for a helmet-to-chin shot on Chris Chambers. TV sure has a funny way of disagreeing with Parcells and Mike Shanahan.

    b. Just wondering: Does John Madden ever see anything to be critical of anymore?

    c. The Cowboys haven't had a winning record in 34 months.

    d. I don't see how you avoid saying right now that Mike Holmgren is in serious employment trouble.

    e. I want to apologize to Shannon Sharpe for not making him offensive player of the week in MMQB. He did have 12 catches for 986 yards and 10 touchdowns Sunday in Kansas City, but it was against the Chieftains, and so I accounted for the offensive inflation and decided that this was really a 2-catch, 19-yard game, with no touchdowns, if you scale it up against a real defense.

    f. Wheels of Justice Dept.: On April 1, police say Najeh Davenport broke into a woman's dorm at a college near Miami, entered her closet, and defecated in her laundry basket. Last week, the Packers fullback reached a plea agreement, according to his attorney, that calls for him to do one or two football clinics in the offseason as community service. Is it just me, or does that seem like a ridiculously stupid and mild slap on the wrist for one of the most grotesque and weird crimes in NFL history?

    g. Oh, you killer Ravens. Oct. 21, and you're in sole possession of first place in the AFC North.

    i. This is why you should chortle at The New York Times NFL computer rankings: Last week, Buffalo was 24th, six spots behind Carolina.

    j. Steve Mariucci did the right thing in not taking a Saints touchdown off the board in the final two minutes of the game. The score gave New Orleans a 35-27 lead, but it also gave the 49ers the ball back with a chance to tie the game. If Mariucci hadn't given the points, the Saints could have run out the clock.

    k. I love those orange Browns uniforms.

    l. Emmitt Smith needs 93 yards to pass Walter Payton against Seattle next week. Which leads us to ...

    4. I think Matt Millen went temporarily insane Thursday night. Why else do you make a no-win statement on a radio show like the one he made, saying he had a player on his defense who was a "devout coward?"

    5. I think these are my personal thoughts of the week:

    a. Anyone have a theory on why the foliage -- examined driving through the guts of Connecticut and Massachusetts to Boston and Parents Weekend at Tufts Friday -- is so late this year? The drought, maybe? It's far from explosive, as it should be in mid-October.

    b. It's so great to be on a college campus, even for just a few hours. Lots of energy. Lots of sidewalk-chalking in protest of the potential war with Iraq.

    c. Laura's fifth-floor dorm room is 56 stairs up in the air. Imagine doing that five times a day, up and back. Twenty-five flights up, 25 flights down. God, she ought to be ready to run a marathon.

    d. Is it just me, or do you notice an incredibly large number of young people smoking these days? I swear it's an epidemic in New York City.

    e. Coffeenerdness: It's always nice to find a new latte home. They make a great one at Brown and Brew, on the fringe of the Tufts campus in suburban Boston. (Why the name? The school colors are the strange combination of brown and blue. Cute.) Nice frothed milk and rich espresso from the pleasant two-facial-ringed barista ... at only $2.95. Good job, Brown and Brew. I'll be back.

    f. I'm afraid I didn't make a lot of friends among Laura's peers and parents at dinner Friday night in Boston's North End when I offered this joke: "Termite walks into a bar. Says, "Hey, is the bar TENDER here?"

    g. Montclair (N.J.) High Field Hockey Note of the Week: I missed both games in a rain-shortened week, but apparently the 15th-ranked Mounties, with your favorite field hockey player, junior link Mary Beth King, can do just fine without me. They advanced to 13-0-0 with a 2-0 win at Old Tappan on Friday and a 2-0 win against Columbia in the first round of the Montclair Invitational Tournament Saturday. Your Favorite Player, battling a sore throat, turned in 60 minutes against Columbia and managed an assist on a goal by wing Alexis Barbalinardo. The girls have outscored foes 37-2 so far this year, and they need to be challenged. That'll come twice this week -- in a tough league game against Northern Highlands Wednesday and particularly against West Essex, the No. 3 team in the state, Saturday.

    h. Montclair Field Hockey Player of the Week: Senior back Laura Solecki. "She stopped three breakaways against Old Tappan without breaking a sweat," said senior captain Lyndsay Wilson. The exclusive Q & A with the slight and determined and blonde Ms. Solecki, who has been a rock-solid wall for the defense, took place via phone, with me at the Chili's inside Fort Lauderdale Airport last night and her at home in New Jersey.

    MMQB: Why do you seem to enjoy playing defense so much?

    Solecki: For me, getting a good pass off is so much more satisfying than playing forward and trying to score.

    MMQB: You didn't play much varsity last year. Was it hard to stay interested?

    Solecki: I love playing field hockey, and so I love practicing. I just take every moment and enjoy the game. It's so much fun to me.

    MMQB: You've developed a good chemistry with Mary Beth [ever notice how I always shoehorn a question into the conversation about Mary Beth?], the link on your side.

    Solecki: Mary Beth and I work well together. We'll play give-and-go, or I'll move up and she'll back me up, or she moves up and I back her up. She's one of the players I trust most on the team.

    MMQB: You've got a tough game against the third-ranked team in the state coming up.

    Solecki: I know. I'm really nervous. Last year I was nervous too, but I knew I wouldn't be playing [in a 2-1 West Essex win]. We played one of our best games that day.

    MMQB: What do you want to do with your life?

    Solecki: I'm not sure. Teach, maybe. I like history and English.

    MMQB: Say you had one week left on the planet. What would you want to do?

    Solecki: Travel to Italy, Alaska and the Andes.

    MMQB: Favorite TV show.

    Solecki: Seinfeld.

    MMQB: Favorite Seinfeld character.

    Solecki: Kramer.

    MMQB: Favorite music.

    Solecki: Dispatch. Ani DiFranco.

    MMQB: War with Iraq: pro or con?

    Solecki: Con, for a lot of reasons. In general, though, I'm anti-war.

    MMQB: Anything else you'd like to tell America?

    Solecki: Uhhh ... Go Blue!

    i. Newspaper clip of the week: From Thursday's New York Post gossip page, with the headline, "Gay Old Time:" "Rosie O'Donnell and her pregnant galpal, Kelly Carpenter, are in swishy Provincetown, Mass., for Women's Week, an annual 10-day lesbian love-in. Between events like the gay golf outing, lesbian prom, safe-sex workshop and performance by the Fabulous Dyketones, the couple found time to visit Toys of Eros, a sex shop on Commercial Street, reports the Boston Herald."

    j. New Jersey Red Dogs GM Chris Mara, an heir to the Mara throne, reports a clarification to my column note last week about the weirdly named Bad Ronald, the group singing the first song on Mary Beth King's Montclair High Field Hockey Mix: "I just want to clear up the question that you and your readers have been asking themselves: Who is Bad Ronald? His name is Dug Ray [apparently that's his real spelling] and he is from Pound Ridge, N.Y., and a good friend of my family, believe it or not. Great guy and an avid sports fan and a big Giants fan." Chris, I would advise you not to play the lyrics for your father. Wellington Mara would not understand. Hey, I'm 45, and I have to turn the stuff off.

    6. I think the Kansas City defense, which has allowed 39, 23, 41, 30, 25, 35 and 37 points (Imagine having a great day when you give up 25 points!) in seven weeks, would be well-advised to walk into coach Dick Vermeil's office this morning and hand over their checks en masse. Perhaps if they said, "We don't deserve these," Vermeil would not do himself personal harm.

    7a. I think if you saw Dave Campo sprint off the field after the ridiculously ugly 9-6 overtime loss to Arizona, you would have seen a man saying to himself: "I wish I didn't have to meet the press to justify anything about our effort today, and I wish I could avoid Jerry Jones after the game and for the next 10 weeks, and I wish I could run back to Dallas instead of taking the charter home, and I wish, really, that if I did run home I would get hit by an 18-wheeler somewhere around El Paso." I cannot believe how bad the Cowboys are on offense. I know you guys want to give Quincy Carter a full season, but Lord does he look awful.

    7b. I thought the Giants won ugly until I watched the last 30 minutes of Cowboys-Cards. I think very highly of Dave McGinnis, but his lads are setting back offensive football to the Nagurski Era.

    8. I think there are my other sporting thoughts of the week:

    a. Baseball should realize it's in trouble just from my walk through two terminals of the Atlanta airport around the time of the first pitch of Game 1 of the World Series Saturday evening. The TVs in two bars I passed showed Auburn-Florida. The TVs in the seating areas of the terminals showed UCLA-Cal. Barry Bonds prepping for his first World Series at-bat ever, and you can't see it in America's biggest airport.

    b. I wonder if Chris Simms will get drafted in the first round next April. What a stunning thought that is. Two years ago, we all thought whenever he came out he'd be the first or second overall pick.

    c. I've never been much of a Golden Domer, but it sure is fun to watch Notre Dame play. The Irish just don't make mistakes. What a defense. And what a coach Ty Willingham is.

    d. I don't know Max Kellerman. He's an ESPN character about to get some sort of talk show on the network. I guess he works out of Los Angeles. But he has this promo where he points to a map of the United States and says that people here (pointing to L.A.) think that people in the eastern megalopolises don't know what they're talking about when it comes to sports. I suppose that's designed for some yuks. And how funny it is! But put your microphone where your mouth is, Max. Never have a guest from the east on the show. Never. And then let's see how brilliant whatever your show is, is.

    e. Seneca Wallace, who is so much fun to watch, learned a basic lesson of football on Saturday: It's not a good idea to throw into quadruple-coverage. In fact, it's the type of throw Heisman voters see and say: Hmm. I think I'm starting to like Byron Leftwich quite a bit.

    f. On, you mighty Scarlet Knights! My homestate Rutgers 11 got nipped in the rushing stats by Virginia Tech, 342 to minus-seven.

    g. Bowling Green beat my alma mater, Ohio, 72-21. Ohio beat Kent 50-0. I assume that means BG would edge Kent, 108-0.

    9. I think Denver is nuts for not signing Jason Elam for a long time. You know what this is? It's the classic case of a story that, in March, will sound just fine. Denver will say it's saving vital cap money by not paying Elam $1.5 million a year, or whatever he'd get, and paying some rookie kicker the minimum. Then, the first time the rookie misses a game-winner, everyone in the organization will be frothing for Elam. And he'll be someone else's kicker. Hey, kickers are worth a lot of money today. Real money. The Broncos should pay up.

    10. I think Steve Spurrier has to be wondering what he got himself into. What a pitiful display that was on Sunday. How many different ways can a team turn it over? This team has 10 miles to go before it can compete on the Spurrier level.


    When I have absolutely no idea which team is better, I take the home folks. So let's go with Tommy Maddox and his L.A. Express offense, 30-20.

    Sports Illustrated senior writer Peter King covers the NFL beat for the magazine and is a regular contributor to CNNSI.com. Monday Morning Quarterback appears in this space -- no kidding -- on Monday mornings. Click here to send him a comment.


     
    Related information
    Multimedia
    Visit Video Plus for the latest audio and video

  •  


     
    CNNSI